catswithbenefits:

i dont want a job i just want paychecks

stacysdad:

i can relate to pirates because i too am after the booty

alvxandra:

image

i’ve never seen something so accurate

bootsi:

I won’t take selfies with other people y’all don’t know my angles

christmascockies:

i stopped caring when i was like 3

nayx:

date a boy who wears shoes that light up

2bainzz:

yo fuck samsung users with the weird whistle text tone if I hear that one more time I’m going to drop kick your android into a lake

sidnugget:

when did i get this fat